Paul Flemming

Writing on Two Wheels

Writing on Two Wheels
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Spin along for posts on cycling and cycles
A from-the-wheels-up view of rides, builds and fixes.

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Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Wahoo Tour Day Three: Friction Evaluation Unit

Day 3 starts at Waffle House. I don't know it now, but today is our speed day along flat stretches of U.S. 90, the triumph of the tandem.

There is going to be a surprising amount of friction today, but we are innocent of that over our waffles and bacon and coffee.


We visit in morning light Lake DeFuniak and wonder anew at the Edwardian homes around its mile-long perimeter, the anomaly of the Chautauqua Hall of Brotherhood (not a Marvel set piece, an actual relic of a time so, so very different from our own) and its preservation in Florida where stuff is torn down as civic duty, economic necessity and scheme-preserving matter of course. There's the library, born of the virtuous Chautauqua movement as well. The stage and amphitheater, too, pose a conundrum against rural Florida expectations where mass delusion colludes to tell a story about annual live theater festivals of exceeding popularity. Pull my other leg.


We leave DeFuniak Springs. Our paths cross in Mossy Head with Bill Conner, a man so clearly grieving a darkening cloud seems to park above his head. He is riding from Madison, Wisc., to Fort Lauderdale to meet the transplant doctors who harvested his 20-year-old daughter's organs to save multiple lives. "Enjoy him while you can," he says to me about Avery without evangelizing.

Before we reach the city limits on our way out of town a pickup passenger is the first and only to yell at us. "Get on the sidewalk," he offers, though not in a way inviting further dialogue.

In Crestview we see steel girders rising, lifted by a crane into place outlining a defined embryonic courthouse. We aim at lunch in Holt down the road. Susan's restaurant proves worthy of the pedal.

We fill our bellies, cool our jets and refresh our legs for a swift afternoon.


On the far side of Holt we bolt down the highway, moving at pace. A new white truck idles between the Old Spanish Trail and the CSX tracks to our right. We race on along this flat, straight stretch. Soon the truck and its hitched trailer passes in the far lane. Twenty seconds later I am jolted into lever-grabbing reflex when the truck, now 100 yards ahead, squeals and smokes its tires as if braking to avoid a crash.

Here we go. I brace for impact. I scan frantically for the cause of the impending crash and any dangers nearing us. None come. Pedal on. In a minute, again the tires of the truck lock up and squeal, raise white smoke and just as suddenly roll on again. Realization dawns. This is on purpose.

Friction Evaluation Unit. The truck and the apparatus it hauls behind it brake purposefully and skid the tires. Water sprays simultaneous with the braking.

My tax dollars at work. 

Tue, July 25, 2017 | link          Comments

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Wahoo Tour Day Two: Choctawhatchee Chariot

Day 2 begins in the wrong direction, heading a mile east to retrace our route to the courthouse. It's amazing what a new coat of paint will do for what had been a serious contender as least attractive courthouse in the state.


The requisite photos taken, we re-pedal our way back along U.S. Highway 90 -- past Marianna's Spanish revival post office -- to the Hinson House and, soon enough, our eggs and bacon, pancakes and coffee for fuel. It makes for a late-ish start. Our rain on Day 1 was dispiriting in the moment but proves a harbinger of this temperate morning left in its wake.

A delightful morning starts straight and flat through Cottondale and soon enough the last of Jackson County rolls beneath our tires. Our first foray into Washington County delivers us swiftly into Chipley, the town FDOT made. The Washington County Courthouse is new and puts a prosperous sheen upon Chipley.

Onward we go, spanning Holmes Creek and, as a consequence, into Holmes County. In Bonifay is an unpresupposing courthouse marked by a flagpole and flag, humble monumentary and steady walk-up business from the angled-in vehicles parked curbside.

We scour our way back to Holiday Restaurant. Friendly lunch-goers chat us up. A waitress prompts us to grab the open end of a long occupied table in the bustling restaurant. Avery has a 10/10 bacon cheeseburger and I have chicken fried steak, black-eyed peas (promoted as lima beans), carrots and gravy-laden rice. Other diners engage us in conversation.

We are in the county seat of Holmes, the Florida jurisdiction with the highest percentage Trump vote, 89 percent of the ballots cast in November. It's only 8,300 actual votes, but that's still an LBJ-in-King-County level split. I stress I do not question for one second the legitimacy of the vote. I am, in fact, surprised it's not higher for Trump.


After lunch we pass back into Washington County for a spell, then again enter Holmes. Next we complete a crossing of the out-of-its-banks and silt-brown Choctawhatchee River, aswirl with eddies downstream of railroad trellis piers.  Over Red Slough, Little Reedy Creek, and Big Reedy Creek our ride goes on flat in these bottoms through Westville and into Ponce de Leon proper.

We are now a formidable team of pedalers and we spin from 84 feet above sea level in Ponce De Leon and gear up the 7 miles of winding U.S. 90 to the heights of 267 feet above sea level.

It's not the highest point in Florida, nor even the highest point along our ride. Florida's peak is to the north, at Britton Hill where the land rises to 345 feet. Our ride's highest point is behind us, near Mount Pleasant on mile 22 of Day One when the plateau took us to the dizzying height of 325 feet above sea level.

Now the outskirts of DeFuniak Springs appear and we hit our final courthouse of a four-courthouse day. Avery declares it the best of all. 


On this day, 18 years since I purchased it -- an expense I celebrate every moment of this ride -- the Santana tandem carrying us earns a moniker. The two-seated bicycle has never had a name, but it sure does now.

The machine we pedaled 60 miles this day and 96 miles thus far on the Tour de Wahoo does now and shall evermore recall and mimic the name of the first library bookmobile in DeFuniak Springs.

I give you the Choctawhatchee Chariot.

Sun, July 23, 2017 | link          Comments

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Wahoo Tour Day One: Slow time

Day One starts in Midway and sets out along U.S. 90.


The Old Spanish Trail or Blue Star Memorial Highway or State 10 -- this road has more aliases than Jason Bourne -- undulates on its way past Hurricane Creek as a four-lane divided highway into Quincy. This is our first of eight county seats and eight courthouses.

We are still in town when the first  rain shower begins and we escape the drops by steering  into a car wash bay. From there the ride takes us into Gretna along a two-lane oak, crape myrtle, pine and pecan-lined highway. A wide shoulder of  new asphalt gives us smooth sailing through Mount Pleasant. A dump truck and a tractor trailer full to overflowing with green tomatoes rumbles past.


A roadside stand offers to "Cure migraines. Cure AIDS. Cure cancer. Medical honey."

With cloud cover to keep the day cool we speed down a mile-long descent.

Then. The inevitable.

Pedal by pedal we ascend, our spinning in sync and my breathing ever more labored until we achieve the summit of a mile-long climb. It is a slow slog past confinement buildings of three state agencies. We are simultaneously a quarter mile from Georgia, a half mile from the Central Time Zone, and three quarters of a mile from Alabama.

We stop for lunch in this confluence.

A steep drop takes us onto the bridge over the Apalachicola River, just downstream from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers' Jim Woodruff Dam impounding Lake Seminole. Just like that we lose an hour of time and enter CDT, affectionately known as Slow Time hereabouts.

Now I grow more concerned with the looming thunderheads, sheets of distantly visible rain and the flash of ominous lightning. Thankfully the terrain remains flat as we pedal swiftly through the bottoms of the swollen Apalachicola on raised roadway until returning to ground and more prisons.


On we ride into Sneads where, after a pee and a Gatorade, I stake us to a spot beneath an abandoned building's long, covered façade.

There we stay, protected from the deluge. And stay for more than two hours. At last, I give up, call in Lyssa to stop for us. I load the tandem atop the Subaru and we drive, dry, the 19 miles into Marianna and our shelter for the night.


Thu, July 20, 2017 | link          Comments

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Wahoo Tour, setup

Blogs/ApalachicolaMap.jpgAn old man and a newly minted teen get on a tandem bicycle and pedal from Tallahassee to Pensacola on the Old Spanish Trail.

Four days of riding on progressively flatter routes. The plan includes nightly stops in a series of Panhandle towns, culminating in Pensacola with two nights of baseball and a day at the beach.

Blogs/UFOHouse.JPGLyssa, our support crew, drives from town to town with our luggage and gear then travels down to the coast and a different beach each day.

Avery is game. Dad is eager. Lyssa is gassed up.

Wed, July 19, 2017 | link          Comments

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